Talking to your child about bullying is important. When you are making dinner or watching a storyline, you could bring up a bullying scenario and ask your child what they think.
Anti-bullying
If you’re concerned that your child is a victim of bullying, or bullying others, this helpful guidance could help you to put a stop to bullying.
Talking to your child about bullying
Trying to have a conversation with your child about bullying is not always easy, but it is necessary. We have compiled some helpful guidance to help you and your family.
If you have a young child you may want to use a picture book or their favourite TV show to help illustrate your point. This will give them an insight into how others treat people and what to do if someone does cause them distress.
Keeping up with what is going on in your child's life can help you spot where a situation might arise or if there is an issue, your child might be dealing with without telling you.
Parents - signs to watch for if you think your child may be being bullied
It can be every parent’s dread if they suspect their child is experiencing bullying. If your child has not opened up to you about this, but you have a gut feeling, you may be on the lookout for signs that your child is being bullied.
If you notice that your child is feeing withdrawn, isolated or other emotions that are not usual for them, try to talk to them to find out what is going on.
Your child may be feeling very anxious about going to school, or the teacher may be in touch with you that their schoolwork has changed, and this may be a potential sign of bullying.
It may not be bullying and there may be other changes that your child is struggling with so avoid coming to conclusions but investigate why they are feeling the way they are.
Bullying affects lots of people and can happen anywhere
There is no legal definition of bullying. But it is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.
Some of the signs below might not be applicable and there could be other worries your child is facing, and they may display similar emotions or actions as listed below. Speak to your child if you are worried about them.
Emotional signs of bullying
- Isolating themselves and not talking to family
- Feeling withdrawn and spending more time alone
- Changes in eating habits
- Changes in behaviour such as feeling angrier than usual
- Avoiding social media
- Not seeing their friends after school or at weekends
- Anxiety and nervousness that wasn’t displayed previously
Changes at school
- Suddenly doing less well at school
- Anxious about going to school and saying they are feeling unwell more than usual
- Stolen items that cannot be easily explained
- Missing money that could have been stolen
- Damaged possessions such as bags and uniforms
- Not taking part in after school clubs
Physical signs of bullying
- Bruises, cuts and marks that cannot be explained
- Issues with their sleep
- Complaining of headaches or stomach aches
- Bedwetting
Keep it general
There is no need to make the initial conversation about bullying too formal or complicated. When you are busy making the dinner or watching a storyline, you could bring up a bullying scenario and ask your child what they think. This will be a good starting point to discuss bullying in general, and in more depth.
Explain to your child in simple terms what bullying is. Although there is no legal definition, it is usually defined as repeated behaviour, which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.
Talking to a younger child
How you approach this conversation is age dependant. If you have a young child you may want to use a picture book or their favourite TV show to help illustrate your point. This will give them an insight into how others treat people and what to do if someone does cause them distress, such as telling mum, dad, or a teacher at school.
Talking to an older child
If the child is older, you can use scenarios of bullying that have happened in real life such as on TV or in a magazine. You may want to use our interactive anti-bullying video so they can understand what options they may have. You can talk about online bullying, social bullying or bullying at school.
Ask your child what they would do if they were bullied, how they would react and what they would want to happen, this can be a great way to let them know what steps to take such as confide in someone they trust, collect screenshots or keep a diary of incidents. They may also want to talk about bullying they may have seen at school. Help your child build resilience with our advice.
The importance of communication
Keeping up with what is going on in your child's life can help you spot where a situation might arise or if there is an issue, your child might be dealing with without telling you. Taking an active interest in what your child gets up to can give them lots of reassurance, even if they don’t show it!
Try to keep up with how they are feeling, who their friends are, their social media or online activity and what is happening at school. This can really help to strengthen the bond between you and help your child feel confident and want to confide in you about their life and their world
Are you worried your child is being bullied?
Children often find it hard to talk about bullying because they may feel humiliated, ashamed or they might be scared of reprisals. You may see signs such as anxiety to go to school, saying they are ill, bruises that are unexplained or they may isolate themselves socially or online.
If you suspect that your child is being bullied, asking your child outright may not get them to open up to what is happening. You know your child better than anyone else, so trust your instincts about taking the best approach. They may not be ready to talk about it, so take small steps and let them know that you are there for them and can help them no matter what. Reassure them that you won't jump in and act without discussing it with them first. This can go a long way to getting your child to confide in you.
Talking to a younger child
How you approach this conversation is age dependant. If you have a young child you may want to use a picture book or their favourite TV show to help illustrate your point. This will give them an insight into how others treat people and what to do if someone does cause them distress, such as telling mum, dad, or a teacher at school.
Talking to an older child
However, there are also many times when a child is bullying another individual and his or her behaviour has to be challenged. If you believe that your child has acted in this way, talk to them about bullying, the impact this can have and find out why or what was the reasons behind their behaviour.
- Have they been bullied before or has there been issues at outside of school?
- Do they have a new friendship group that are not a positive influence?
It's crucial to find out as much information as you can in a calm way and work with the school to get this resolved.
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